A little Liar inside.

I never thought my heart would beat even faster for you. As usual, just as I am about to say goodbye to you, you do something that would make me fall for you all over again. Even though I'm saying this like I am completely for it, the truth is I don't like it 'cause it hurts so much inside feeling this way. You were there in front of me, but I know you are way too far for you to even notice me. 


Today, I just knew that the thing you have with her is real and its just hard to intervene. I am completely aware that it was me who caused this things to happen. I did not allow anything, even friendship, to happen between us.


It has been a while seen I started to tell myself to stop thinking about you, but never actually did, 'cause I can't. Until now I'm still figuring out myself. What do I really feel? Is this right? Or is everything just a little sad story that I made myself? I still don't know the answers. I am totally clueless about what to do, but I know I have to do something. Something that would make my heart calm, patient and peaceful, even for just a while. 


As write this blog, I feel like I am in high school again. Being so depressed and feeling so emotional about a guy whom I don't even know for sure if I really feel that way for him. When we write, sometimes we just get too emotional and exaggerate the whole thing. 

Doot

06/26/11